Today I thought about your smile and how lucky I am.
Thinking about my relationship and the past three years is really incredible. We’ve been through a lot and somehow managed to pull through. The only thing that’s bothering me is how effortless we’ve made this. We aren’t trying for each other anymore. We settled with the fact that we care about each other and we love each other, but we aren’t trying to keep it together. I miss being cute. I miss long 6 page texts and waking up to “good morning beautiful” and cute little hearts and kissy faces. I miss wanting to hold hands and not thinking about when to let go. I miss the nice random gestures or my stupid apology gifts. I miss feeling like you meant nothing less than the world to me. I miss hour long phone calls and the feeling of being completely lost when we were only an hour apart. I guess I’m just thinking about how much things have changed. And how much you’ve changed. And how much I’ve changed. And I guess I just miss that feeling of completion and absolute happiness.
I’ve got the whole world figured out.
So I caved in and made a new one of these. And at the same time, I’ve decided to keep it personal, and less trendy. Considering this is my first post, I figured I’d just introduce myself and let you know about recent occurrences in my life.
So for starters, I’m Carissa. I’m 19 and I’m currently in a relationship. My interests are hockey, dogs, hiking, music, nature, food, and traveling. I have a pretty unique sense of humor. I act in impulse, and I’m one of the most selfless people you could meet. My main goal is to keep everyone happy and enjoy my life. I’m an artist but I also have a strong passion for helping people and I’m a huge science nerd. I’m really honest and straight-forward and I’m not the kind of person who will tell you things you want to hear. I’m very open about all of the aspects of my life and I don’t keep secrets of my own. Everything I have to offer is right in front of you.
At the moment, I’m laying in bed and pondering thoughts about my current situation in life. For all the silly things I’ve been through so far this year, I’d say I’m pretty proud of how well I’m holding up. I hope this isn’t a temporary happiness and I really hope I continue to progress. My only hope is to remain positive and focus in what I need, rather than what I want. Although its really hard to find a balance, it’s even harder to maintain it. I guess my only fear is to lose sight of everything and completely fall apart.
I’m going to leave it at this for now. I’m in need of sleep, and I’m pretty happy I can sleep in tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a nice week so far, and has something planned for the beautiful weekend ahead.
